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A spiritual awakening can feel like an intense dopamine rush. The curtains are opened, and you feel as though you can finally see clearly. The clouds have cleared, and you are connected to yourself and a higher purpose. What is not talked about as frequently is the ebb and flow of connecting to your soul and Source.

The constant pursuit of the next dopamine rush. The next message from your guides or the search for the synchronicities from the Universe. The addiction to a spiritual hit. As a species, we are constantly looking for that next dopamine or adrenaline rush. We search for the revelation and the knowledge to continue to expand. The next upgrade.

When we do not experience it, we can fall into despair. For me personally, I am searching, always, to a fault. I want to continue the growth and the upward trajectory. Who has time for integration anyways? We know what needs to be done, but are we making the time to pursue life so we can actually apply what we learned? Or are we avoiding the uncomfortable experiences where we would have the opportunity to apply what we have learned. We read the guidebooks, consume the knowledge, get the dopamine hit and move on to search for the next rush.

The critical step that is overlooked is the integration. Sitting with yourself and thinking through how the knowledge can be transformed into habits and applied in your interactions with self and others. What does it matter if you know what a boundary is if you do not review your relationships and actually ask the hard questions to know which relationships need boundaries applied. Knowledge is futile unless it can be applied. Integrated in your everyday experience. The integration is connected to your story. The connection creates the change.

I tend to fall into the behavior of consuming knowledge and not taking the time to fully integrate what I am learning. To not take the time to reflect on what I am consuming and deciding if I believe it on a soul level. I want that to change. To move from the pursuit of the spiritual dopamine hit to the quiet reflection. Sitting with my soul in contemplation. Contemplation that will guide me into a space of believing or thinking for myself. Taking my power back. I can sit with myself and trust myself enough to know what is true for my soul.

Continue pondering..