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Intention
Not for Reference is an invitation for freedom of thought. Gathering information and exploring what your inner self concludes. The material is my own soul expression without the agenda of convincing or conniving others to think like I do. My thoughts may change over time based on my life experiences through this incarnation. We all…
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Agnosthesia and the Depths of Despair
Reading time: 3 minutes There is a yearning in writing. A need to put the swirling overwhelming magnitude of what is inside into the 2D representation on the page. The words cannot fully represent the magnitude of all that is felt, but the words can make the magnitude feel manageable. The act of writing helps…
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Holding space for grief and gratitude
Reading time: 4 minutes The human experience holds so much duality. The ability to have two opposite emotions at the same time. Trying to intellectualize both seems impossible to the mind. Currently, I am sitting with grief and gratitude. Attempting to hold space for both. Last night, I attended a seminar on Goddesses. I went…
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What does it mean to know someone?
Reading time: 5 minutes Throughout my life I have experienced the same feelings in relationships. As though I am a facilitator, but not a part of. Peering into a glass box. The one that provides advice and resources but is still on the outside. Questions are one way or not prying enough to make me…
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Dragons
Reading time: 4 minutes Dragons show up in your life to test what you have “learned”. They are the facing of your fears and cannot be calmed with affirmations, crystals, and good vibes. They open your wounds and make you look at them. Dragons test your integration and shine a flame on your shadows to…
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Disentanglement from Alcohol
Reading time: 5 minutes I miss the days when I would just write, raw and unfiltered. A pouring out of imprisoned emotions that would only be freed when the alcohol impaired my frontal lobe. The words would come out in a flood. The relief of finally being released. The onslaught on any bystander could be…
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Learning or Overconsumption?
Reading time: 2 minutes In this time, where every question can be answered by Google, we are stepping away from our own critical thinking. Moving headfirst into overconsumption. I am a perfect example of this overindulgence. In all of my hobbies and interests, I become obsessive, googling every question, watching countless videos, and reading blogs,…
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The Space in Between
Reading time: 5 minutes I am in the space in between. Between the before and the after. Aware, but still unaware. Grappling with knowing in my knower and questioning my sanity. My body and soul are forcing me to rest. Fatigue beyond what I have experienced before. Physical manifestations of neck spasms, back pain, and…